


Nights of Loveless Love

by alliaskofyou



Series: My Lost Special (to all of you) [2]
Category: Sherlock (TV)
Genre: Angst, Canon Divergence - The Sign of Three, Evil Mary, M/M, Mary or Sherlock, Moriarty is back and there's gonna be some trouble, Pain, Pining, The Sign of Three, Threats, Wedding, choose
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-29
Updated: 2017-06-29
Packaged: 2018-11-20 21:33:32
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 904
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11343573
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/alliaskofyou/pseuds/alliaskofyou
Summary: John reflects on the dangerous situation he must save Sherlock from. Hearts are broken.





	Nights of Loveless Love

**Author's Note:**

> (Title inspired by Love by Daughter)
> 
> Not beta'd so please forgive me for any spelling or grammatical errors! Hope you enjoy! : )

John sits next to Sherlock, watching him let loose emotions John wasn’t sure Sherlock was even capable of expressing. He knew Sherlock felt them; he’s not as idiotic as Sherlock might believe, but never did he think Sherlock would literally bare his heart to a room full of strangers.

At John’s wedding of all places. After John fled from him. After John had the best snog of his life with his best friend that he’s been hopelessly in love with since he asked “Afghanistan or Iraq?”

He can’t help but think that if Sherlock’s “death” didn’t happen, this could have been his and Sherlock’s future. Marriage. Albeit happier.

He sneaks a glance at Mary who is smiling tightly at her relatives. She must feel his gaze because she turns toward him and pecks him lightly on the cheek, causing Sherlock to stumble over his cards. John has never hated anyone more in his life.

She grips his hand tightly underneath the table, squeezing tightly enough so it hurts, but not tight enough for John to grimace and alert anyone. He feels his chest tighten when he thinks about how much danger they are in, how Sherlock’s life is at stake if he can’t pretend to love Mary, to pretend he wants to marry her.

 

***

 

_“You kissed him, didn’t you?”_

_“Mary, what are yo-”_

_“I told you he would!” A sinister voice sings from the hallway that leads to their bedroom._

_John stills, his heart thumping wildly._

_“No, you’re dead. You can-”_

_“Ah, but you see, I’m definitely alive.” Moriarty steps into their kitchen, his smile wicked and feral._

_John turns to Mary, her tight-lipped smirk is equally grim._

_“Mary?”_

_“Yes, John? I’m sorry it had to happen like this, but we can’t have you getting in the way of our plan. You see, you leaving me for Sherlock, just won’t do.”_

_“What are you-”_

_“Oh, come on! You don’t think I see how you practically swoon every time he looks your way.” She scoffs and looks back to Moriarty who moves closer to John, eyeing him speculatively._

_“What is going on?”_

_“Slow, slow John. It’s a wonder that Sherlock keeps you around. I guess to fuel his ego, you’re quite good at praise; yet, you haven’t congratulated me on coming back from the dead.”_

_“Go to hell.”_

_“Tsk, tsk. Is that how you should talk to someone who holds the future of the one you love so tightly in their grasp?”_

_Disgust boils in John’s stomach. “What are you talking about?”_

_“Sherlock. The legend. The genius. What do you say would happen, John, if his mind were to deteriorate?”_

_John glares at Moriarty, his gaze piercing and relentless. “What do you have planned?”_

_“Dear Mary has made a concoction for me. A drug if you will. To assist in the destruction of his mind.”_

_“And what if I stop you.”_

_“That’s what I have planned, John.”_

_“Excuse me?”_

_“I’m giving you the choice. How nice of me! You either marry Mary and destroy his heart or stay with him and we destroy his mind. You choose.”_

 

***

 

John stands and hugs Sherlock, tightly pressing his face into his shoulder, willing to swallow his unbearable future without Sherlock as his if it means keeping him safe.

 

***

 

Nausea slams into John and he fears he might actually vomit all the fancy food they’ve had today all over Mary’s dress. Mary is pregnant. With his baby. He smiles a tight grimace that falls when he sees Sherlock’s smile drop and eyes water.

Sherlock clears his throat and John begs for him to see the truth: _please see I have to do this, for you_. Sherlock nods his dismissal and heads toward the exit. John excuses himself from Mary who gives him a dark look, a lethal warning.

 

***

 

“Sherlock!” John darts down the walkway, the hedges shielding both of them from any prying eyes.

“John, go back to your wedding.”

“Sherlock, wait.”

Sherlock spins around to face him, causing John to stumble. He attempts to catch his footing at such a change in speed. He lands in front of Sherlock, breathing heavily and eyes misting. “Where are you going?

“Home. I’m not needed here.”

John’s feels a lump form in his throat, realizing he’ll never be able to call Baker Street his home anymore. “I need you. I always need you.”

Sherlock’s face hardens. “I think we both know that not to be true, John.”

John reaches out for Sherlock’s hand, but Sherlock shoves both in his pockets. “Sherlock, I - I don’t wan-”

The words stutter and stop, tumbling and tripping out his lips in incoherent mumbles. He can’t tell Sherlock. Sherlock is in danger. This is a sacrifice he must make. He swallows the cry that threatens to release the moment he opens his mouth.

Sherlock sniffs harshly and closes his eyes and opens them once more. The pain is transparent and it ebbs from Sherlock, washing over John in a tidal wave of sorrow.

“You chose her.”

John lets out a sob that sounds like choked laughter. “I didn’t wa-” he quickly shuts his mouth.

Sherlock smiles sadly and walks the few steps to him. John closes his eyes, tears streaming down his cheeks. He feels Sherlock kiss him on his forehead. It's light and brief, a feathery brush and then nothing. John thinks he might’ve imagined it because when he opens his eyes, Sherlock is gone.

 


End file.
